Wedding Updates and More

I know I've been really behind with updates but life catches on to you so currently I'm working, doing my masters, planning the wedding and in-between going back and forth from Singapore.

I came across CahayaKad by Latifi from Sarawak. You can check him out on facebook. He makes and designs the most amazing wedding invites and for bride-to-be out there who is willing to spend extra dough I encourage you to contact him.

I however have booked the wedding invites way before I found him. SO sad kan....xpela... But nevertheless, I think the invites are looking pretty nice. Simple with no kerawang kerawang. ...

Next, the bunga pahar. We went to Kak Fatma's house the other day and the bunga pahar is fabulous. So awesome! My mum quickly just said yes without asking for the price. Tp memang sgt sgt cantik la...

Door Gifts. I think we've sort of decided on it.

Well...that's it la for now. Will report back when there's more things done.

Toodles...

Faith and Suicide

This post has nothing to do with weddings. Also, wedding plans have taken a back seat for now as we're caring for nenek.

I've been meaning to write about this for some time but I didn't. I didn't know where to start, what to write or answer all my WHY questions. It was only until just now when my sister came back from a gathering and found out the whole story did I have a bit of understanding of why.

A couple of weeks ago at about 6.30pm, my old primary school teacher called. It seems like a junior of mine has passed away. I wondered what could have caused it. Was he ill? Was it an accident? Nope. It was worse. He committed suicide by hanging himself.

I was shocked and until I've heard the whole story did I understood what he went through. I won't divulge his story here as its not my story to share. All I could say was that he was very depressed, very lonely and empty inside that he drove himself to do such a thing.

All I could ask was where was his faith? If only he had a bit of faith. Faith in our Creator that there would be no chance for him to be extremely lonely.

I've been depressed so I knew how it felt to be so unattached to the surroundings and wallowing in my own despair. It is sort of a sickness if it is not handled properly. But with that lil faith I have, with time I got pass it.

The next few questions all begin with If Only... If only someone had reached out to him. If only families could support each other. If only they cared......

Let it be a lesson and a reminder to everyone out there, think before you act, before you speak, before you retaliate in anger. You never know that you could have triggered pain to a weaker soul and the next thing you know blood is on your hands. Its never wise to be mean. You could have save a life with a little act of kindness.

Pre-Wedding Shots

We thought it was significant that we had our photoshoot in Melaka as that was where it all started.

Death

I'm afraid of it. I feel it looming dangerously close and I'm in denial. Nenek is in so much pain. She's getting fevers on and off now and bruises are appearing all over her body. She's holding on because she wants to see me get married. I have to make a decision now.

Postgraduate Studies

So I applied. I told everyone that I'm not gonna do masters. Such a hassle. I don't want to teach. I want to cooked. Stay at home. Open my business. Then my dad enters. Sigh. You gotto work missy. OK...I got a job and still working till now. Then one fine day. It just came over me. Like a calling telling me to apply. To complete my masters study. So I applied. Last 15 May to University Malaya. Yea screw what everyone says. It's close to home. I applied for three master courses trying my luck. But was aiming for masters in modern languages.

Last friday, I got an email saying that I got accepted for Masters in Modern Languages. It was a wierd feeling. I was happy, yes, then it dawn to me that all the reading and living in libraries will start again. Then it was me organizing my time, my next plans, what research I should do, making time to go there and ask some lecturers what research I should do, maybe look up ahead and start reading on the courses. Its the kiasu, ultra-time management thing in me. I got it from my dad I think and probably the only one in my family with it. The rest of my siblings plus my mum are so hamban. Including my fiance. Probably scared a lot of people with it too.

So..good luck to me.. =)

Reflecting on Life

3 years ago I gave my heart a chance on someone. It wasn't the easiest thing for me to do. People who know me, well know that I'm not exactly an easy person to get along. I generally have a hard time trusting people. Regardless of the circumstance.

I know I gave him a hard time and yet he stayed on. Gotta give him credit for being patient. Secondly, he changed. I knew a lot of his guy buddies hated that about me. What is really so wrong about change if it's for the better. Him, his character, his personality, that didn't change. He's still the same funny, always trying to annoy me and making smart ass jokes. How he would talk crap like killing and ripping off someone's throat but when there's a time that person would ask for his help. He would be there without a blink. That's my baby. That's why I love him. Of course bad habits had to change. Which fortunately,some, he gave up. I'm still trying to get him to entirely quit smoking. We were moving on to something bigger. A life together. It wasn't a time to be selfish. Even for me. We give and take. That's how our relationship is.

These past few months have been really been a test on our relationship. I wish the wedding was the main problem but it wasn't. I didn't even have time to think of planning the wedding. Its been physically distressing at work with more work piling on my desk each day. Juggling responsibilities at home with nenek sick and my mom up and down singapore, I had to keep house and play mom. And then there was him and us and the problems that follow. When the going gets tough, it just got tougher.

God really put a test on us. I do believe that he is ever loving, ever kind, ever giving and I see it appearing day by day. Its just a matter of reaching out and grab it. I've been feeling helpless and depressed for a few weeks. Trying to battle these demons and being strong. Its never easy to do it alone. I pray to God to give me strength, to remain hopeful and to open my window wide and beyond. I promise I'm giving all I can to do my duties on this Earth.

Sini Sana: Travel Stories in Malaysia

It's finally here!!! The long awaited book is finally published and I'm proud to say that my darling is one of the writers in the book. So make sure you go to MPH and buy the book ok. Anyways, his story 'Papa's Bukit' was featured in the Star newspaper by one of their regular columnist saying that it was one of her favourite stories from the collection. I have yet to read the article so I'm scouring the online Star archives in search of it.

Papa's Bukit is a beautiful piece that is written close to his heart.

It's a personal story of his that I find, to a city girl like me, something I rarely hear about. He's told me stories about his childhood numerous times and I finally told him, well I guess more like force him, to write about it. I'm glad I did. Anything is possible when you put your mind to it.

The Greatest Woman- You are my inspiration

Those who know me would know that my grandmother is going through 4th stage of cancer. She was diagnosed with this disease last year. It has been a very painful and difficult journey. She went through two operations in the course of one year as the tumor was rapidly growing in her stomach. This time around, the cancer had spread all over her liver and the doctors cannot do anything about it anymore. Her cancer is GIST, please look it up. Its a form of cancer that rarely ever happens to anyone and from the beginning onwards the doctors told us that there was no cure for it. We as a family have accepted this fate and we have tried to make her life as meaningful as possible.

She is my heart. She was the person who took care of me when both my parents were working. She bathe and feed me and protect me when my yayi (grandpa) was angry at me. My late grandfather was the baran type. So it was really scary for me when he got angry. My dear grandmother was always there for me. I love her so much. I would protect her by all means. There have been some things in the past that I've gone overboard because I felt so dearly for her and when I felt she has been wronged. I would do the same thing for her again.

I was very fortunate to be able to give back a piece of how she cared for me last year. When she was sick and during moments where I was free I was in Singapore taking care of her needs. It was a just a fraction. I wish I could do more. But life moves on and I got a job and the wedding. I so wish I could do more.

She in her pain cooked my fiance sambal goreng when she heard he got transferred to JB. That is the strength of my grandmother. She put her love into everything that she do and the receivers of this love felt it so strongly. She never complaint about her pain. She is so strong.

I know I have to be strong as well. I will be. I will be there reading for her the quran and soothing her with sounds of the zikir. I would like to request to whoever who reads this will pray for her strength and read the surah yasin. It is very hard for me right now but I must give all my strength to my nenek. My inspiration.

Nikah Update

So we have decided to have the solemnization ceremony the night before my reception which will be on the 23rd December 2011 after maghrib. Papa's wishes were fulfilled because he wanted the nikah to be done at home. Right, I know there has been a lack of wedding updates. It's been crazy at work and I have not had any time to think of the wedding at all.

Things are definitely not going according to schedule. Tsk tsk.

On a happier note I have booked my make up artist for my wedding, a videographer for my nikah and my mum has gone out and bought bunga pahar for the nikah without consulting me. I have a feeling that she has ordered bunga pahar for my sanding too. Also, I've got shoes to match my nikah outfit. Just got to order new ones for my reception. Still got so many things.

On top of that, there's a possibility of me having 5 outfits for the wedding. It's giving me a headache. Hope all of you are having a happy busy April like me.

Its 1.30 am in the morning

My dad says the engagement is time for us to practice on tolerating each other. Since marriage is a whole different ballgame all together. I plan to have the whole situation under control. You gotto work at it. Show that you're always there and you care. But lately I've been feeling down. Very very down and under appreciated. Who said it was going to be easy? Who said that since she said yes, you've got her in your hands? Nope. Absolutely wrong. Since she has agreed, she'll be analysing you seeing whether you will keep your promise. Whether you're making feel secure. Whether you show her love and care. Whether you will stop being a big fat kid and grow up and be a man. The minute I give my faith and trust holding onto a big responsibility, I'm just being disappointed again. Why do I always feel like the man here? Sacrifice damn it.

LDR

I received shocking news yesterday. My fiance got transfered to Johor and he had to go today as they need him to manage the centre there on Sunday. I admit I cried when I heard it. We're sort of used to see each other at least a min of 3 times a week. Even my parents felt sore about the whole situation and are trying to help him out so that he can come back here quickly.

I was planning to surprise him on his birthday. Since this would be his last year celebrating his birthday as a bachelor. I was so excited the whole of last week. Asking all my colleagues what I could do to surprise him. So, I thought of surprising him by making sort of a treasure hunt with short sweet notes. The moment he wakes up there'll be a note, then when he gets in his car there'll be one, then off to work where there'll be a lovely cake waiting for him. A cake of course lovingly baked by me. Alas, my plans were crushed by the sudden news.

So, after my class today, he picked me up and we went of to chilis to have lunch at Empire. He went to the bathroom while I ordered the food. I told the waiter to bring in the cake while singing Happy Birthday. I guess that was the only surprise that I could think off at that time. He was leaving to JB after that. After we finished lunch, I was waiting for the cake to arrive. He thought that we were waiting for the bill. We waited for quite awhile and he was already getting angry. A little girl was also celebrating here birthday with her family and they were singing the Birthday song. He then had to tell me to never ever celebrate his birthday in a restaurant. Well not at least till his 60 and old and couldn't be bothered anymore. He said that birthdays were never a big thing in his family, He has never celebrated his own birthday. It was just the 'oh its my birthday today, pat on the back' and on with the usual day. So by then, I was laughing coz I knew he didn't have it coming. the waiters then came out with the cake singing Happy Birthday. He was like whose birthday is it now ....and heard "Happy Birthday to Farril". hehehe....He was so surprised and I could see that he was very happy. At least I managed to celebrate his birthday with him before he left.

I'm going to miss you darling soo...much. He'll be nearer to Singapore so he will be able to see nenek from time to time. LDR officially begins now.

Some days are just meant to be still..

Still with the sky so blue and and the mind erased of all worries.

Dulu ajak nak kahwin lari tak nak kan.

I've been terribly busy. Stressing over details which in the end don't happen to be in my power anyway. Work has become quite a chore. I don't mind the workload. But really many unnecessary things that can be rid off and hence will save time, money and energy. The system should really be looked through.

Happy news today. SPM results came out. My lil bro got 10As and 1B. So proud of him. Gonna celebrate before news of his impending National Service take place and he'll be gone for 2 years to serve the country.

Happy Birthday Mama!

My mum turned 50 yesterday. We didn't do anything special as papa is in terengganu. But today, my cousin and her family came with a cake and we celebrated together. Coincidently, my tailor came as well so the more the merrier.

She came back with one of my bridal dresses. It looked great! Her sewing pun kemas. So sent off the other three dresses as well la. Sneak preview of the kain. It has a small train at the back.

Sengetkan la kepala anda ye. Malas nak rotate gambar. The lace had been patched onto the satin.

And a preview of one of the lace. This is by far my favourite. Heavy beaded red french lace. Gorgeous kan. =). That's all for today. Exhausted nak tido. Night.

Attraction to Bad Boys

There's always an attraction to bad boys don't you think so girls. How everything seems so sexy and hot around them. The rockstars, the players and the assholes. I don't mean the guys who think they are cool by bragging about every single girl they bang. Nope, those guys are lame. Its the bad guy thing to always keep a mysterious air about them and keep to themselves.

Maybe, its a hopeful dream of us girls to change a bad boy. Like some unachievable mountain to overcome and claim the boy yours. LOL. Somehow, the fantasy always seemed better in my head.

I've dated my share of bad boys. The musicians, guitarists, goths and heart breakers. Why heart breakers, because they are extremely good looking and they get away with everything coz one look into your eyes and you know you melt. Dear exes, lovers, flings and friends, you all make a good story to tell my kids. How good looking guys are boring to hang out with, but a good eye candy on my arm and show off and brag about. LOL. How guitarists and musicians are emotional beings who are need of you to boost your ego. That times were fun when nothing was ever serious.

Amazing how my heart was stolen to baddest guy of all. True gangsters are gentlemen with pride in them. I love you F.D.Z.

Marriage

A marriage is a union of two people. It may have started of with love but love do not just take marriage by its reins. We (me and fiance) have never been the impulsive types to fall on love. Hell, I take a long time to care for someone. I'm very suspicious of people in general and only a number of people (which I can count with my fingers) know me in and out. First impressions would probably put me as a stuck up bitch. Truth is, I'm more afraid showing myself to anybody. I don't like to be seen as weak. I think that is why we get along well together. He's sort of like that himself.

I always told myself that love is not forever. I cannot bring myself to say I love you everyday to my partner. I will  only say it when I truly meant it. Love is so precious to me. I believe that care or 'kasih sayang' is more important. Because that is for life. When you truly care for someone, only then you will think deeply about your actions. You want to try your best to make him happy and comfortable.

I see married couples around me, some younger, some older. Their marriage is falling apart and I wonder, what rocked the foundations of their marriage? It is truly sacred, making that decision to spend your whole life with the other. A huge decision. Does this person share the same outlook and future that I want? Would I want to build a family with him? Would he make a good husband and father to my children? Can he be a leader and lead my family? Is he responsible? Does he share my morals and values? Will he care for me as much as I care for him and more? The decision is not on the whim. It is not truly all based on love (but of course you need to love him).

We actually discuss all of this. He's not one to plan surprises and such. The more we shared, the more we see what a great fit we were for each other. Of course, we had our troubled moments. So one day, he just asked me outright. Marry him. And I can't help smiling. Everything was right. Everything felt right and I'm glad to have this wonderful man with me by side. They definitely don't make men like him anymore this generation. =)

Hullo...

I've recovered and being sick for week was certainly unpleasant. The doc gave me three days mc...


I miss talking to my fiance. I miss him so much...Even though we both work in Shah Alam, we hardly get to see each other.

Sad eh..

My Stress Reliever

I went to the doctor today and she got me hooked on the nebulizer. My asthma has been going on a few days now and I've got two days mc for it. I wouldn't say my job is very hectic. God knows how much hectic work I've been through. I can handle a  lot of work and multi task. The problem with me is that when stress gets the better of me and being emotional (coz fiance's like super bz too, so we don't talk much now) that's when my asthma starts. Thank goodness me being unwell started end of last week and thus its study week this week. I need plenty of rest. Shit, I need a massage.

Whenever I started getting stressed up, I would always find something to cook in the kitchen. Baking and cooking is a way for me to de-stress I miss it.

If i had it my way, I would just like to teach part time and stay at home and cook and be a housewife, while running a small business on my own.

On another note, I found a mobile spa on the net. http://kalenaspa.blogspot.com. I have an urge to book a time for tomorrow and get her to massage. Should I??

Opposites Attract

Was discussing on relationships with my colleagues when one of them brought up the topic. Her husband is very organised while she is very messy. So far, most couples tend to have opposite characteristics of their partner. That's very true. I'm the making list person. I've got to budget, plan and organised my time. I hate having to forget something and going back for it which ends up wasting a lot of time and money. My fiance however is the 'esok nak makan cerita esok je la'. Annoying tak?

How the hell did we end up being able to get well together is really beyond my comprehension. He does sometimes drive me up the wall with his don't care attitude. I cannot tahan man...

So whenever we meet up (which is not very often nowadays) he'll ask what's the plan. Then, I'll start reading my list of things to do in the order I want them to be done. (He finds me annoying too!)

But gosh, don't we compliment each other well. I am a very compulsive person. I'll just jump the gun if I see that the opportunity is a good one and just go for it. By hook of by crook I'll get it done. In this area, he's analytical one. He sees the bigger picture clearer and I lean on to him on the decision making.

How do two absolutely different people get together?? I don't know. Love is blind. But I know we're meant to be and there is no other person that I want to spend my life with other than him.

The Honeymoon Dilemna

The honeymoon has never been in our wedding budget. So far it hasn't. Well according to the fiance we MUST include it in. The problem now lies with the questions when and where. Should we leave right after the wedding? Should we wait for at least a week before we get settled? Can we afford a honeymoon now, since we're buying a house and all?

There were a few options. As I have family in Sydney, my auntie offered to accommodate us if we took a holiday there. My cousins were also leaning towards this idea. For a holiday, Australia is really beautiful place with a lot of sight seeing. But the fiance ain't keen of being with family at the moment as we want our alone time. ;)

Second, we wanted to go to China. This was my choice. I've always wanted to go there. Discovering new culture and sights has always been one of the few favourite hits in my travelling itinerary.

Go local. Maybe go see Sabah or Sarawak. We've both never been there or laze around at one of our local beaches.

Krabi or Phuket. This was one of our latest destinations. We're leaning more towards Krabi. Somewhere really private and peaceful in a nice relaxing villa with a private pool.

Decisions....decisions. Now off to scour more honeymoon destinations.

The List

My fiance needed a smoke first before I could show him 'The List'. Lolz.. I've broken it down to complete it within the given month to narrow our focus for each month. It is extremely helpful to plan ahead as it will help you budget for expenses.

January

Book Dewan

Book Photographer

Book Invitation

Finalised Dated

February

Book Caterer

Pay house downpayment

Book graphic designer to create wedding website

March

Book Pelamin

Book make-up artist

send baju for tailoring

compile guestlist 

(I lost everyone's hp no, friends from WMS, Convent, Uitm and everyone else)

Please msg me your numbers!

April

send family and pengapit baju for tailor

start buat bunga pahar

decide on doorgift

decide on hantaran

May

Kursus Kahwin

HIV Test

Book Tak Kadi

June

fittings

Emcee

guestbook table and deco ideas

July

Buy Wedding rings

design wedding card

June

Pre-wedding photoshoot

tempah wedding shoes

August

Suit for Fiance

send invitations for printing

September

Chinese tea wedding ceremony set up

organise and finalise guestlist

October

Wedding website up

Invitations Out

Bachelorette Party

November

Spa time!

December

No stress!!!

Think Wedding!

So I've done the tasks in red. Lots to do. Basically looking at options and comparing prices now. Till then! 

New Blog Alert!!

Check out my youngest sister's blog. It's hilarious!! imandreams.blogspot.com

Been sooo....busy......sorry for the lack of updates!

The Impending Stress

I feel a migraine coming. How do you deal with your parents who out of the blue decides to change the theme of the wedding. Excuse me while I scream in my pillow for awhile.

3 year Anniversary

I woke up early this morning, went to the kitchen and made Almond Bread Pudding. I forgot to take pictures. So I thought of surprising my fiance at his office with it. Things didn't turn out the way I wanted. My car was in the workshop. Papa went somewhere and my mum sent my sis for her swimming lessons. In the end, he managed to come over for lunch before he went off to Putrajaya for a meeting. He stayed for like 10 minutes, ate the pudding and left. So I called him.

Me: Darling...do you remember what day today is?

Him: Today is Sunday right...

Me: It's our 3 year anniversary la sayang...

Him: Omg...I forgot..okok...I take you out for dinner..

Me: Haiz takpela...your mum's coming...

Yes, my fiance is not romantic at all. He sometimes forgets to call me the whole day or even send me a msg. He's not that type of guy. It took me some time to get used to it. It's not that he cares less. He's just really really really absent minded. Boleh plak kan mcm tu. I'm the take-charge kind of person. Everything is planned according the way I want it. I've got a things-to-do list everyday. How do we even manged to get along with each other? It's so wierd that we are exact opposites. But so wonderful that we complement each other so well.

Happy 3 year anniversary to me!

Money..money..money..

The biggest concern for most people is money. It's not everything but without it it can cause a lot of pain.That is the reality of life. I love my darling. Truthfully, we're not the buying gifts sort of couple. We both realised that now its not the time to splurge for unnecessary things. Even when we were studying back in Melaka, I always wondered how my friends would go out and eat fast food every week, watch movies and shop. They really had a lot of  money to spend. I would try to cook almost everyday and on days I was too tired to cook I would cook rice and buy side dishes. My darling and I hardly go out and watch movies. Most of our dates consists of window shopping, walking around streets of Melaka and car rides. I was contented with his company, our conversations and laughter.

Trust me when I say that my shopping habits have changed. I loved good quality branded goods. Yes, I admit I'm a brand snob when it comes to bags and shoes. This is because my fashion taste is not as adventurous and I tend to buy bags that can match most of my outfits. Secondly, certain branded goods last longer especially shoes. Which is why I stop buying vincci shoes. They wear off easily they're not as cheap now. Thirdly, I shop in Singapore either during the mid-year sale or the christmas sale. You can get really really good bargains. I normally stock up on my shopping during this months. You can never find Rockport shoes on sale in Malaysia. Contrary to popular believe I don't splurge unnecessarily. I however love to splurge on my darling but still at really good bargains.

So yea back to the money issue. Weddings are expensive. So it's really important to plan ahead and start saving, scrimping for the upcoming nuptials. Especially for your life together after the wedding. As I said before the wedding is the big party for the parents. The life together is the icing of the cake.

So I don't need a big diamond rock on my finger. I rather have a home together for our future.

and well....if you need fast cash...the only person to ask is .........."Pa.....I need your credit card!!" heheh...mmg anak papa la sampai bila-bila.

Should I start worrying?

I got lectured by my dad just now.

Me: happily yapping about booking my pelamin and deciding my bunga pahar.

Papa: Kakak, you don't have to worry about the catering and all the small things like bunga telur and bunga   pahar.

Me: thinking...did he just say that the bunga pahar is a small thing?? no..no...I plan to make lilies...

Papa: Because this wedding is me and mama's event. You are the product...

Me: still thinking...hah?? I'm a thing now..worse a display product..

Papa: ...of me and mama. So you just focus on being happy on that day. Even the card will say walimatulurus papa and mama. So we will decide everything..

Me: Can I do my hair this way??

Papa: ok. simple is best...

Ladies and gentlemen...I have no say at all for my wedding. Help me.

Btw, I am starting to write out my guestlist. So please email me, or leave a comment here or in fb if you would like to attend my wedding. Include your handphone number and address.

Hair Fall Control

I have always had thick and heavy hair. Since I was much younger. I think it was much thicker back then. There was one point in my life where I had truly unruly and unmanageable hair. My dad didn't like how my hair turned out so he sent me to the saloon and had it straighten. I was thirteen then. Since then, I have highlighted my hair ash blond, dyed it a few times and experimented with it. Throughout my high school years I've had different hair styles. I've had bobs, really short hair, layered do and well you get the picture. But I didn't like having it short as I would only be able to keep the style for 2 weeks before it got out of shape again.

So when I hit my twenties I decided to just keep it long. Well longer I guess. Somehow, I would still go to the saloon every two weeks and have a few inches cut off. Long hair is really heavy.

Now a lot of people have been complimenting my hair saying that I've got really beautiful hair. Thank you for your kinds words. My colleagues even my students made comments and well it made my day. My ganja smoking hair guy would probably tell you a different story. He says that I'm too lazy take care of my hair and that I'm losing it. He's probably true. hehe..

There are a few reasons I think why I'm losing it. First, I don't wash my hair everyday. When its wet it becomes very heavy. Besides everytime I wash it I have to mask and well I'm too lazy to do that. Secondly, my scalp kinda gets oily fast. So I've fixed the problem. Now I'm using organic shampoo and so far the condition of my hair seems to be improving. Yay! I have to really keep my hair long for the wedding.

Here are some my tips which I practice to take care of my hair. I wash my hair every two days. It's because I have really thick hair. Whenever I wash it, I will put on hair mask and leave it for 15 minutes. Make sure when you mask your hair to only mask the part of your hair that is below your ear. After you rinse out the mask squeeze  excess water from your hair with a towel. Then let your hair dry. Don't have to use the hair dryer. Just leave it. My hair takes a pretty long time to dry. Don't brush or comb your hair. When its half dry, put in leave in conditioner at the ends of your hair. You can comb through your hair with your fingers if your want. Basically that's it. I don't brush or comb my hair. I hardly ever tie it up. Try to massage your scalp from time to time so that there is blood circulation and hair grows faster.

I'm trying to grow my hair and have it reached my waist. Try first la.....

Down with the blues

I've got the mumps. That's what my dad says. One side of my face is bengkak. I can't speak loudly or chew my food. My fiance had to buy porridge and blend it for me so i can slurp it down. It hurts. It's annoying.

On another note, Thumbs the hamster is missing. I just worry about stepping on it somewhere in the house.

Been marking the mid-semester exam paper. I am just tickled with laughter by their err 'creativity'. I didn't expect it to be this bad at the university level.

My grandma is in hospital again. I really want her to come and stay with us. Please pray for her to recover quickly. I miss her.

Happy CNY!

To everyone celebrating CNY have a wonderful celebration. My fiance will be driving back to Ipoh tonight for his family's reunion dinner. Teringin plak nak makan yee sang. What i have observed over the past decade is that the chinese do not wear their traditional costumes anymore like the cheongsam and qipao. Its such a pity. I was just imagining wearing a cheongsam for CNY.

Gorgeous! I love the lace patching on this cheongsam.

I wonder why the tradition stopped? Hmm..anyone has an answer to that? I wanted to wear the kwa for the chinese tea wedding ceremony. Its so pretty.

But with the outfits I have now, I don't think I have any more chances to wear these. Sigh. We'll see how everything goes.

A Twist From The Original

Check out The Rescue's version of 'Teenage Dream' by Katy Perry. Loves.

The harmonizing is wicked.

My peeves and causes of irritation

I hate expecting from someone. In the end, they are all going to disappoint you. 

Too many instances when this sort of thing happens. I don't understand being so significantly lazy. I don't understand excuses. I don't understand procrastination where three weeks of works is wasted. 

I however do understand that time is money. Time is development. Time is your road to success. Don't waste this precious time giving lame and stupid excuses. You are wrong and stupid. Now fix it.

Bridal make-up

A bride wants to feel beautiful on her wedding day. Particular in a malay wedding ceremony, where brides are required to change into several outfits. You want a look that you are suppose to be comfortable with and that you can recognize yourself in the mirror. I looked through my mom's old wedding pictures and man, the make-up was probably about 10 inches thick. I for one would definitely want to look sweet, feminine and natural. So the target is to find a make-up artist who can accomplish that look.

I love's Elyana's solemnization make-up. She looks so demure, her make up doesn't look too thick yet it looks beautiful in pictures. Make-up artists always say that in order to look beautiful in pictures, the make-up has to be thick. True, but accomplishing this look is not that easy.

So the quest to finding the my MUA is on. Any suggestions and recommendations are welcome. =)

Of lace and Wedding Dresses

I'm a lucky girl. I know that and I'm thankful for it. But how do you tell your mother to stop buying??? She has clearly gotten carried away. Currently I have four wedding lace. Three was already a headache to begin with. Then she came home last night from Singapore and bought another one. I was trying to keep hold of the bridezilla in me because I never chose any one of the lace. Nope. She bought them on her own without telling anyone she was buying them and now I'm in a muddle trying to find someone affordable to design them. I went to one of the famous fashion designer and he was going to charge me 3k for the bridal gown and 2k for the baju nikah. His designs were obviously gorgeous. Tp I can't afford two baju for 5k and now I've got to think of another two. Doa la I dapat business banyak. Then perhaps I can have him do all my dresses.

gorgeous kan the lace buat jadi cheongsam. 

I love the soft lines of this dress. There goes my dreams to use chiffon or tulle.

ni orang tinggi pakai cantik . Macam I ni??

I'm meeting another designer tomorrow. Hopefully the price will be within my budget. 

Dream Wedding

A girl can always dream. Well in my case lots of dreams. First when i was a wee lil girl, it was being a princess and living in a fairytale. Then during those troubled 'no-one-understands-me' teenagers' phase it was dreaming that cute guy in school actually likes me back. Well now, at this age, I dream of having that dream wedding. I wanted first to have a grand reception. I wanted to wear a gorgeous gown and have everlasting pictures to remind me of that beautiful day. Well that idea had to be scratch with the growing amount of guests we have.

Then I wanted an intimate wedding. I just wanted the akad nikah ceremony and dinner afterwards. Simple, sweet and meaningful. Like that scene in ayat ayat cinta when the hero and heroin got married.

But the parents wanted a big reception. First one in the family getting married and all. Same with my fiance's side. He's the eldest son and the eldest grandson. The western culture never have guests attending weddings by the thousands. The malay culture do. In this case family from Singapore, terengganu, KL, Selangor, Pahang, Ipoh, friends, lots of close family friends, colleagues, VIPs.

Yup, so basically both me and F.D. decided that our wedding is a big party for our parents. The whole thing was out of our hands since the engagement. Sigh. Therefore I'm determined to have a beautiful wedding dress and gorgeous wedding pictures so I have hired the best. =)

Well that was the dream. In reality, everything is (so far for now) working out the way I want it. We made a few compromise and adjustments. Still much more to do. So the only time I am free to do any wedding vendor scouting is on sunday. Till then. Have a great day.

First Post

It's 26th of January 2011. Alhamdulillah life has been good for me. =) Let me recap with what has been happening in my life so far.

I got engaged to F.D.Zainal on the 25th of December 2010. The event was celebrated by my relatives and close friends. The theme was white and apple green. It was a beautiful day, a lot of glitches happened but everyone was happy in the end.

A beautiful baby boy was born into the family. Qalef Mikhail Chee Bin Harris Chee was born on 17th January 2011. Panjang betul nama dia. Isn't he so adorable. I think he looks like Samir. 

I started working at MSU on 3rd January. Funny story. I got the job offer one day before the engagement. I was rushing around like mad picking up the flowers. Preparing the hantarans, cleaning and decorating the house. I slept at 1a.m the night before and woke up with bengkak eyes. So I really got to plan my wedding in order. Go to spas, manis and pedis and the whole works. So, the journey to my wedding preparation will begin here. 

These are some of my colleagues. All are taken except for Sofia who second from the left. ;)

11 more months or so to go. Lots more to do.

Love

Nasuha