LDR

I received shocking news yesterday. My fiance got transfered to Johor and he had to go today as they need him to manage the centre there on Sunday. I admit I cried when I heard it. We're sort of used to see each other at least a min of 3 times a week. Even my parents felt sore about the whole situation and are trying to help him out so that he can come back here quickly.

I was planning to surprise him on his birthday. Since this would be his last year celebrating his birthday as a bachelor. I was so excited the whole of last week. Asking all my colleagues what I could do to surprise him. So, I thought of surprising him by making sort of a treasure hunt with short sweet notes. The moment he wakes up there'll be a note, then when he gets in his car there'll be one, then off to work where there'll be a lovely cake waiting for him. A cake of course lovingly baked by me. Alas, my plans were crushed by the sudden news.

So, after my class today, he picked me up and we went of to chilis to have lunch at Empire. He went to the bathroom while I ordered the food. I told the waiter to bring in the cake while singing Happy Birthday. I guess that was the only surprise that I could think off at that time. He was leaving to JB after that. After we finished lunch, I was waiting for the cake to arrive. He thought that we were waiting for the bill. We waited for quite awhile and he was already getting angry. A little girl was also celebrating here birthday with her family and they were singing the Birthday song. He then had to tell me to never ever celebrate his birthday in a restaurant. Well not at least till his 60 and old and couldn't be bothered anymore. He said that birthdays were never a big thing in his family, He has never celebrated his own birthday. It was just the 'oh its my birthday today, pat on the back' and on with the usual day. So by then, I was laughing coz I knew he didn't have it coming. the waiters then came out with the cake singing Happy Birthday. He was like whose birthday is it now ....and heard "Happy Birthday to Farril". hehehe....He was so surprised and I could see that he was very happy. At least I managed to celebrate his birthday with him before he left.

I'm going to miss you darling soo...much. He'll be nearer to Singapore so he will be able to see nenek from time to time. LDR officially begins now.

Some days are just meant to be still..

Still with the sky so blue and and the mind erased of all worries.

Dulu ajak nak kahwin lari tak nak kan.

I've been terribly busy. Stressing over details which in the end don't happen to be in my power anyway. Work has become quite a chore. I don't mind the workload. But really many unnecessary things that can be rid off and hence will save time, money and energy. The system should really be looked through.

Happy news today. SPM results came out. My lil bro got 10As and 1B. So proud of him. Gonna celebrate before news of his impending National Service take place and he'll be gone for 2 years to serve the country.

Happy Birthday Mama!

My mum turned 50 yesterday. We didn't do anything special as papa is in terengganu. But today, my cousin and her family came with a cake and we celebrated together. Coincidently, my tailor came as well so the more the merrier.

She came back with one of my bridal dresses. It looked great! Her sewing pun kemas. So sent off the other three dresses as well la. Sneak preview of the kain. It has a small train at the back.

Sengetkan la kepala anda ye. Malas nak rotate gambar. The lace had been patched onto the satin.

And a preview of one of the lace. This is by far my favourite. Heavy beaded red french lace. Gorgeous kan. =). That's all for today. Exhausted nak tido. Night.

Attraction to Bad Boys

There's always an attraction to bad boys don't you think so girls. How everything seems so sexy and hot around them. The rockstars, the players and the assholes. I don't mean the guys who think they are cool by bragging about every single girl they bang. Nope, those guys are lame. Its the bad guy thing to always keep a mysterious air about them and keep to themselves.

Maybe, its a hopeful dream of us girls to change a bad boy. Like some unachievable mountain to overcome and claim the boy yours. LOL. Somehow, the fantasy always seemed better in my head.

I've dated my share of bad boys. The musicians, guitarists, goths and heart breakers. Why heart breakers, because they are extremely good looking and they get away with everything coz one look into your eyes and you know you melt. Dear exes, lovers, flings and friends, you all make a good story to tell my kids. How good looking guys are boring to hang out with, but a good eye candy on my arm and show off and brag about. LOL. How guitarists and musicians are emotional beings who are need of you to boost your ego. That times were fun when nothing was ever serious.

Amazing how my heart was stolen to baddest guy of all. True gangsters are gentlemen with pride in them. I love you F.D.Z.

Marriage

A marriage is a union of two people. It may have started of with love but love do not just take marriage by its reins. We (me and fiance) have never been the impulsive types to fall on love. Hell, I take a long time to care for someone. I'm very suspicious of people in general and only a number of people (which I can count with my fingers) know me in and out. First impressions would probably put me as a stuck up bitch. Truth is, I'm more afraid showing myself to anybody. I don't like to be seen as weak. I think that is why we get along well together. He's sort of like that himself.

I always told myself that love is not forever. I cannot bring myself to say I love you everyday to my partner. I will  only say it when I truly meant it. Love is so precious to me. I believe that care or 'kasih sayang' is more important. Because that is for life. When you truly care for someone, only then you will think deeply about your actions. You want to try your best to make him happy and comfortable.

I see married couples around me, some younger, some older. Their marriage is falling apart and I wonder, what rocked the foundations of their marriage? It is truly sacred, making that decision to spend your whole life with the other. A huge decision. Does this person share the same outlook and future that I want? Would I want to build a family with him? Would he make a good husband and father to my children? Can he be a leader and lead my family? Is he responsible? Does he share my morals and values? Will he care for me as much as I care for him and more? The decision is not on the whim. It is not truly all based on love (but of course you need to love him).

We actually discuss all of this. He's not one to plan surprises and such. The more we shared, the more we see what a great fit we were for each other. Of course, we had our troubled moments. So one day, he just asked me outright. Marry him. And I can't help smiling. Everything was right. Everything felt right and I'm glad to have this wonderful man with me by side. They definitely don't make men like him anymore this generation. =)

Hullo...

I've recovered and being sick for week was certainly unpleasant. The doc gave me three days mc...


I miss talking to my fiance. I miss him so much...Even though we both work in Shah Alam, we hardly get to see each other.

Sad eh..