Being married, being a wife

I know I've gotten lazy to write and really backdated with the reviews. I really have no excuse for it. But that's not the point. The focus today will be answering the question a lot of people ask. How does it feel being married? How does it feel being a wife?

I couldn't answer. Not in the first month after being married. A lot of things were going on. Deep dark issues that after the wedding was over I felt relief. I was still mourning for nenek, there were family to entertain that I don't have time to think. I didn't have time to be married, to be a wife. It was to please and entertain people. They were duties which I knew had to be done after getting married. Duties that were rooted in tradition. Something not easy for my husband to understand. And tackling making him understand was a chore itself. It was tough I tell ya. Settling in. Living together. Although he moved in with my family, it was still a tough situation.

Understanding his family which are totally different from mine. It was the complete opposite. It was hard adjusting to this difference and I am forever glad that my husband made the decision that we will stay with my family and never with his.

Now coming in to the third month of being married, I could answer those questions. Being married is wonderful after setting aside differences and setting a rhythm in things. I'm as demanding as ever. He spoils me  more. I cook. He eats. We do the housework and chores together. He's considerate. Its better. Now  I pray that this will last. Amin.

The Wedding---Finally

After all the drama, relatives started popping up and behold it was the day of the wedding. The wait seemed very loong with the fights that we were having. It's definitely not easy. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. I was very very lucky. I had a lot of support and help from my parents, my family, my friends and even old neighbours from Singapore. I loved everything about the wedding. I was nervous alright bout a lot of things but I bit my lip and told myself to let it go. I loved my make-up, my dresses, the decorations, the performance, the photographs and the presents. I would like to thank all that contributed to make it such a memorable experience. Yes...I shall update everything soon..soo stay tune..

Wedding Updates and More

I know I've been really behind with updates but life catches on to you so currently I'm working, doing my masters, planning the wedding and in-between going back and forth from Singapore.

I came across CahayaKad by Latifi from Sarawak. You can check him out on facebook. He makes and designs the most amazing wedding invites and for bride-to-be out there who is willing to spend extra dough I encourage you to contact him.

I however have booked the wedding invites way before I found him. SO sad kan....xpela... But nevertheless, I think the invites are looking pretty nice. Simple with no kerawang kerawang. ...

Next, the bunga pahar. We went to Kak Fatma's house the other day and the bunga pahar is fabulous. So awesome! My mum quickly just said yes without asking for the price. Tp memang sgt sgt cantik la...

Door Gifts. I think we've sort of decided on it.

Well...that's it la for now. Will report back when there's more things done.

Toodles...

Faith and Suicide

This post has nothing to do with weddings. Also, wedding plans have taken a back seat for now as we're caring for nenek.

I've been meaning to write about this for some time but I didn't. I didn't know where to start, what to write or answer all my WHY questions. It was only until just now when my sister came back from a gathering and found out the whole story did I have a bit of understanding of why.

A couple of weeks ago at about 6.30pm, my old primary school teacher called. It seems like a junior of mine has passed away. I wondered what could have caused it. Was he ill? Was it an accident? Nope. It was worse. He committed suicide by hanging himself.

I was shocked and until I've heard the whole story did I understood what he went through. I won't divulge his story here as its not my story to share. All I could say was that he was very depressed, very lonely and empty inside that he drove himself to do such a thing.

All I could ask was where was his faith? If only he had a bit of faith. Faith in our Creator that there would be no chance for him to be extremely lonely.

I've been depressed so I knew how it felt to be so unattached to the surroundings and wallowing in my own despair. It is sort of a sickness if it is not handled properly. But with that lil faith I have, with time I got pass it.

The next few questions all begin with If Only... If only someone had reached out to him. If only families could support each other. If only they cared......

Let it be a lesson and a reminder to everyone out there, think before you act, before you speak, before you retaliate in anger. You never know that you could have triggered pain to a weaker soul and the next thing you know blood is on your hands. Its never wise to be mean. You could have save a life with a little act of kindness.

Pre-Wedding Shots

We thought it was significant that we had our photoshoot in Melaka as that was where it all started.

Death

I'm afraid of it. I feel it looming dangerously close and I'm in denial. Nenek is in so much pain. She's getting fevers on and off now and bruises are appearing all over her body. She's holding on because she wants to see me get married. I have to make a decision now.

Postgraduate Studies

So I applied. I told everyone that I'm not gonna do masters. Such a hassle. I don't want to teach. I want to cooked. Stay at home. Open my business. Then my dad enters. Sigh. You gotto work missy. OK...I got a job and still working till now. Then one fine day. It just came over me. Like a calling telling me to apply. To complete my masters study. So I applied. Last 15 May to University Malaya. Yea screw what everyone says. It's close to home. I applied for three master courses trying my luck. But was aiming for masters in modern languages.

Last friday, I got an email saying that I got accepted for Masters in Modern Languages. It was a wierd feeling. I was happy, yes, then it dawn to me that all the reading and living in libraries will start again. Then it was me organizing my time, my next plans, what research I should do, making time to go there and ask some lecturers what research I should do, maybe look up ahead and start reading on the courses. Its the kiasu, ultra-time management thing in me. I got it from my dad I think and probably the only one in my family with it. The rest of my siblings plus my mum are so hamban. Including my fiance. Probably scared a lot of people with it too.

So..good luck to me.. =)