Its 1.30 am in the morning

My dad says the engagement is time for us to practice on tolerating each other. Since marriage is a whole different ballgame all together. I plan to have the whole situation under control. You gotto work at it. Show that you're always there and you care. But lately I've been feeling down. Very very down and under appreciated. Who said it was going to be easy? Who said that since she said yes, you've got her in your hands? Nope. Absolutely wrong. Since she has agreed, she'll be analysing you seeing whether you will keep your promise. Whether you're making feel secure. Whether you show her love and care. Whether you will stop being a big fat kid and grow up and be a man. The minute I give my faith and trust holding onto a big responsibility, I'm just being disappointed again. Why do I always feel like the man here? Sacrifice damn it.