3 years ago I gave my heart a chance on someone. It wasn't the easiest thing for me to do. People who know me, well know that I'm not exactly an easy person to get along. I generally have a hard time trusting people. Regardless of the circumstance.
I know I gave him a hard time and yet he stayed on. Gotta give him credit for being patient. Secondly, he changed. I knew a lot of his guy buddies hated that about me. What is really so wrong about change if it's for the better. Him, his character, his personality, that didn't change. He's still the same funny, always trying to annoy me and making smart ass jokes. How he would talk crap like killing and ripping off someone's throat but when there's a time that person would ask for his help. He would be there without a blink. That's my baby. That's why I love him. Of course bad habits had to change. Which fortunately,some, he gave up. I'm still trying to get him to entirely quit smoking. We were moving on to something bigger. A life together. It wasn't a time to be selfish. Even for me. We give and take. That's how our relationship is.
These past few months have been really been a test on our relationship. I wish the wedding was the main problem but it wasn't. I didn't even have time to think of planning the wedding. Its been physically distressing at work with more work piling on my desk each day. Juggling responsibilities at home with nenek sick and my mom up and down singapore, I had to keep house and play mom. And then there was him and us and the problems that follow. When the going gets tough, it just got tougher.
God really put a test on us. I do believe that he is ever loving, ever kind, ever giving and I see it appearing day by day. Its just a matter of reaching out and grab it. I've been feeling helpless and depressed for a few weeks. Trying to battle these demons and being strong. Its never easy to do it alone. I pray to God to give me strength, to remain hopeful and to open my window wide and beyond. I promise I'm giving all I can to do my duties on this Earth.
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